Stop Asking Me For Stuff

Candida is king at taking advantage. As I go on yet another cleanse, in an environment where I already feel edgy and unsupported, with each little yeast bugger dying off, I think I get more emboldened to take no shit. Cleanses can be really good for clarity, if you can get through the dazes of hunger and anger.

But this isn't a guide on cleansing, it is a proclamation of healthy boundaries. Of putting me first without the unnecessary guilt and shame. Without the bullshit of complicating something that my intuition and body both confirm is crystal clear.

For givers, for those always seeking for ways to help, or perhaps for those of us who base our self-worth on being able to help (read SAVE) others, there can be so many obstacles to saying no. Even when we know that we don't want to do what is being asked. Even when we know that this will lead to resentment or a toxic relationship.

But I be on some warrior shit this week. So much so that I am having to keep it in check a bit as I am on the verge of sweeping up everyone who has slighted me in the least, or that I perceive to have slighted me, into the trashbin of ain't yo friend no mo. That means I give it a day or two before I hit the block button on Facebook.

Candida is king at taking advantage. As I go on yet another cleanse, in an environment where I already feel edgy and unsupported, with each little yeast bugger dying off, I think I get more emboldened to take no shit. Cleanses can be really good for clarity, if you can get through the dazes of hunger and anger.

But this isn't a guide on cleansing, it is a proclamation of healthy boundaries. Of putting me first without the unnecessary guilt and shame. Without the bullshit of complicating something that my intuition and body both confirm is crystal clear.

For givers, for those always seeking for ways to help, or perhaps for those of us who base our self-worth on being able to help (read SAVE) others, there can be so many obstacles to saying no. Even when we know that we don't want to do what is being asked. Even when we know that this will lead to resentment or a toxic relationship.

But I be on some warrior shit this week. So much so that I am having to keep it in check a bit as I am on the verge of sweeping up everyone who has slighted me in the least, or that I perceive to have slighted me, into the trashbin of ain't yo friend no mo. That means I give it a day or two before I hit the block button on Facebook.

Because there are gray areas and nuances, even for this lady on a war path. I am mindful that what can feel like empowerment can just be a clever way of me not trusting myself to continue to have relationships where the boundaries may have to be enforced. But I am also over the constant enforcing, recognizing that there are people out there who value me for me and want to contribute to that growth. And I want to make space for those folks who I know are coming into my life.

I leave you with a practice from a fellow Goddess, one that has guided me through these past two weeks. Hand this need, this want, that others express from you to the Divine. Ask that she may rain abundance on them and that they may turn to her. Ask for empowerment of your fellow beings and then recommit to your own. We are not meant to "save" others. We are meant to empower ourselves and lead by example with self-love, self-care and solid healthy boundaries. I have some money right now but I am in need of my own healing and I am putting my heal, in all ways, first.